Jackie Cromer, instructor of the online dating class, helps seniors from the Sun Cities work through online dating in a safe manner.
Posted
By Nora O'Malley - Sun City West
Beware. Facebook romances to dating sites, even Christian ones, there are so many dangers and scams.
I know of women who fell for Facebook scams by men young enough to be their grandsons. They told the women, “age doesn’t matter to them.” The men know what these women want to hear. They know the women are lonely, need to be heard, need words of caring, love. Need to feel special.
One such woman had lost her husband, sold her house and despite friends warning her not to trust a man she had never met, she turned over all of her money while insisting he would pay it back. Of course he never did. Don’t get drawn into online romances. Those photos may not even be the real person behind the profile.
I had three people who found their true loves on Christian Mingle and other sites. They encouraged me to try it. There is so much more danger and scams out there since my friends were online.
Despite my misgivings and thinking there are mostly narcissists, controllers, and manipulators on those sites, I decided to try it for one month to see for myself. Immediately men 500 miles away started asking me if I was new to the site. Red flag. If I owned a house or rented a house or rented an apartment. Red flag.
Why would they ask money questions or very personal questions first thing or even after a day of two? Those are red flags! Pay attention to them. If something sounds off to you, don’t answer and block them. Report them to the site. Trust your gut. Don’t ignore those misgivings.
Scammers tell you what you want to hear. I reported four or more. I also received nine emails from the dating site, warning me not to talk to these nine men, that they were being investigated. I canceled my profile and subscription after that before the month was up.
Find your true identity and self-worth without another human in your life. Many find this in God, if they go deep enough with God. Find a hobby you would love and can lose time doing. Photography, gardening, maybe dancing. Make new friends with people who have common interests. Get to know real people and socialize that way. Get out of your comfort zone and try something new.
Imagine everyone has a sign on them that says “Make me feel special”. Make someone else feel special so they don’t go down that dark side.
Reader reactions, pro or con, are welcomed at AzOpinions@iniusa.org.
