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Why can’t I put my phone down? Valley doctor shares the 411

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Is it the desperate need for validation or simply FOMO? Maybe it’s something far more complex.

It all began with a bang — not the cosmic kind, but one that would forever change the rhythm of human life. In 1992, along with the first nicotine patch to combat smoking addiction, came the first-ever smartphone, complete with short message texting — the likes of which we had never seen before.

Little did we know this unassuming device would become the defining companion of the modern world.

Three decades later, our lives revolve around it. Better upgrades, bigger screens, more cameras and now artificial intelligence — our relationship with the smartphone has evolved dramatically. But is this evolution considered progress, or is it a slide downhill?

Americans spend a staggering number of hours on their devices, with Millennials leading the pack at six hours and 42 minutes each day. Gen Z is on their heels with six-plus hours daily, followed by Gen X and Boomers at roughly 3 1/2 hours per day.

So, why can’t we put our phones down? It’s not about willpower — it’s psychology.

We are living in an attention economy, a battlefield where companies fight for the most precious commodity of all: your focus. Attention precedes decision, and decision precedes profit. Your attention is finite, valuable and scarce — and every app, every platform, every notification is designed to capture it, even if it’s just a sliver at a time. Most companies continuously refine their designs to keep you engaged for as long as possible.

One buzz, one ping, one ring can pull us away from the real world. We interrupt conversations, abandon tasks and sacrifice moments of connection to tend to a slab of metal.

Why? Because that piece of hardware has mastered the art of manipulation. It’s not just a device; it’s a dopamine dispenser. Every like, comment or message triggers a hit of dopamine  — the same feel-good chemical released when you bite into your favorite dessert or finish a workout. This isn’t accidental; it’s by design.

Consider the “pull-to-refresh” feature on social media apps. It’s eerily similar to pulling the lever on a slot machine. You never know what you’ll get next — a viral meme, a heartwarming story or a burst of outrage — and that unpredictability keeps us hooked.

Over time, your brain begins to associate your phone with pleasure, creating a cycle of cue, routine and reward. A notification (cue) prompts you to check your phone (routine), which delivers a dopamine hit (reward). This cycle reinforces itself, hardwiring your brain to crave more screen time, ultimately leading to addiction.

But the grip of the smartphone extends far beyond its clever design. For many of us, reaching for our phones has become an automatic response to any moment of downtime, leading to an “always-on” mentality. The struggle to resist is real. Many of my patients even battle multiple addictions simultaneously, with smartphone dependency compounding other challenges.

So how do we break free?

Recognizing the grip our phones have on us is the first step to regaining control. I often tell patients to take inventory of how they feel while they’re scrolling. Is your heart racing, do you feel depressed or lethargic? These are strong indicators that it’s time to put the phone down. If you find yourself neglecting the people around you, or other activities such as work or your hobbies, it’s time to take a break.

To truly break the cycle, I always suggest starting small with “phone-free zones” at home, setting app time limits, and turning off nonessential notifications. Also, consider using your device for intentional interactions, like calling a loved one, or listening to a podcast. This could help curb mindless scrolling.

Take action

  1. Set “phone-free” zones — Establish spaces where phones are put away, such as at the dinner table or in the bedroom. This will foster deeper connections with family and improve sleep.
  2. Use tech to control tech — Leverage built-in features like Screen Time (on Apple) or Digital Wellbeing (on Android) to monitor and limit your phone usage.
  3. Practice mindfulness — Take brief breaks during the day to reset your brain. A quick five-minute walk, deep breathing, or a stretch can disrupt the cycle of doom-scrolling or constant phone checking.
  4. Find support — If you’re struggling with phone addiction, consider reaching out to a mental health professional. Cognitive behavioral therapy, a type of psychotherapy that focuses on identifying and changing negative thought patterns, has been shown to help manage compulsive behaviors like smartphone overuse. It can also improve emotional regulation and help people develop coping skills in dealing with anxiety and depression.

Small habit changes can make a big difference.

Setting healthy digital boundaries, even if the shift is subtle, can help rewire the brain for more mindful engagement. These small, intentional changes can help move us from being passive consumers to thoughtful users, ensuring our devices serve us — not the other way around.

Editor’s note: Jon Caldwel, DO, PhDl is the chief medical officer at The Meadows Behavioral Healthcare. Please send your comments to AzOpinions@iniusa.org. We are committed to publishing a wide variety of reader opinions, as long as they meet our Civility Guidelines

phone, smartphone, social media, apps, screen time

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