Medical school taught me a multitude of lessons, but this Father’s Day, I realize that some of my most significant learnings have stemmed from the experience of being a dad.
These timely insights did not come easily. They are the result of living through the sometimes-chaotic balancing act of being a parent while pursuing a medical degree at Creighton University Health Sciences Campus in Phoenix. So, as we come together to celebrate fathers on June 18, here is some of the wisdom that I have acquired after being a relatively new dad.
Quality over quantity. Most dads can relate to the scarcity of time. Whether it is a demanding work or school schedule, the guilt that comes with missing family events is real. When time is limited, making the most of being together is invaluable. This means putting cell phones away and engaging in activities that foster great conversation and, of course, lots of laughter! Creating memories that last a lifetime in just a few hours is possible if you give your family your full attention.
Be in the moment. There was a time when I was led to believe that “balance” meant doing everything at once. However, what works better is to excel at one thing at a time when the moment requires it: thriving as a student while at school, being the best “tickle monster” with my kids, and winning my wife over on a date night as if it were our first.
See the world through the eyes of your kids. In the early years, kids are fascinated by simple things. For our family, trips to Best Buy to see “washer-dry land,” named because of my young son’s interest in washing machines, are an adventure. His ear-to-ear smile and curiosity as he darts down the dryer aisle fill my heart.
At home, starting a laundry load is a 45-minute event — knobs turning right and left without end — but it’s worth every minute. As kids get older, such innocence and openness are sure to diminish. So, make a point to ask them about what they love or don’t love, without judgment, and simply listen.
Keep it simple. When the house is a mess and the Diaper Genie is about to explode, remember that your only task is to raise good people who, by default, will make the world a better place. Show kids that you are proud of them and create a safe, encouraging environment for them to flourish, and all will be well.
Finally, my greatest lesson in becoming a dad is that there is no one type. There are many examples of amazing fatherly figures; the fact is, though, that they are all different. While there are fundamental responsibilities that come with being a dad that aren’t negotiable, each will show up in the best way they know how. What is key in fatherhood is to aim to get better, to reconcile if the situation calls for it, and to enjoy the journey.
Editor’s Note: Zacharay G. Lebaron is a 2023 graduate of Creighton University Health Sciences campus in Phoenix. He holds a doctorate in medicine and will begin his residency in diagnostic radiology at Creighton University School of Medicine – Phoenix residency program. He and his wife are the parents of two.
