The social checklist: An online safety guide for Arizona parents

Derek Jackson

Submitted photo

Use a phone with built-in visibility. If you’re giving your child a phone, choose one that gives you real access to what they’re seeing, sharing, and deleting. That’s why we built a phone that lets you parent with your child, not behind their back.”

Experts have been telling parents to “watch their kid's screen time” for over a decade. But most of the advice out there is outdated, fear-based or too vague to act on. After spending the last few years building technology for families, studying online behavior and helping parents bridge the digital gap, I’ve concluded the problem isn’t screen time, it’s secrecy.

Kids don’t get hurt by having a phone. They get hurt when no one teaches them about how to use it. Let’s talk instead about what really matters. Here’s your essential checklist for parents:

The apps that deserve extra attention

There’s no such thing as a “safe” or “unsafe” app. Studies show that those kinds of labels do more harm than good, but some social media platforms come with built-in risks parents should know:

• Snapchat — messages disappear, which makes it a hotspot for risky conversations or content sharing. It’s also a favorite for secret second accounts, called “Snap privs.”
• Discord — originally for gamers, it’s now full of anonymous chatrooms. Easy to hide, harder to moderate.
• TikTok — while many videos are harmless, the algorithm can quickly push harmful trends like self-harm content or disordered eating. TikTok knows what your kid lingers on — even if they never click.
• Instagram and finstas — finstas are fake accounts where teens post their “real” life, away from parents’ eyes. They’re often more revealing than their main profile.

Warning signs your child might be struggling

You don’t need software to know something’s off with your child. You just need to pay attention. These are the biggest behavioral red flags I’ve seen in working with families:

• Sudden secrecy about devices, like closing screens when you walk by.
• Sleep disruption or chronic fatigue, often from late-night scrolling.
• Mood swings tied to social feedback, especially around likes, followers or being left out.
• Withdrawal from real-life friendships.
• Unusual anxiety around taking breaks from their phone which may indicate they’re tied to a chat or secret account they’re afraid of losing access to.

The real checklist: What parents actually need to do

1. Have awkward conversations early. Talk about sextortion, fake accounts, bullying, identity and self-worth before they go online. Kids aren’t fragile — they’re uninformed.

2. Be honest about your own habits. Kids can spot hypocrisy. Model what you want them to mirror.

3. Don’t filter, mentor. Tech filters can be bypassed. Conversations can’t.

4. Use a phone with built-in visibility. If you’re giving your child a phone, choose one that gives you real access to what they’re seeing, sharing and deleting. That’s why we built a phone that lets you parent with your child, not behind their back.

There’s no such thing as perfect protection. But with the right mindset, the right tools and the right questions, parents can raise kids who doesn’t just survive the internet, but know how to navigate it with confidence.

Because the real danger isn’t what your kids see, it’s what you can’t see.

Editor’s note: Derek Jackson is chief operating officer and co-founder of Mesa-based Cyber Dive. Please send your comments to AzOpinions@iniusa.org. We are committed to publishing a wide variety of reader opinions, as long as they meet our Civility Guidelines.