Stop screaming! The more you listen, the more you’re heard

Independent Newsmedia/Chris Williams

This is part three of a five-part series of opinions on civil discourse written by subject-matter experts in Arizona for Independent Newsmedia, Inc., USA’s Civility Learning Lab.

For more information, to read opinions on a variety of issues and to find a list of Arizona newspapers that accept opinion submissions, visit civilitylearninglab.org.

Coming Feb. 9: Respectful restraint vs. leading with love by Adam Seagrave, Ph.D., Arizona State University

Opinion

Now is the time to teach civil discourse

Opinion

What is civility and why must we cultivate it?

OPINION — Recently, I struck up a conversation with a stranger at a local grocery store who commented on my football team jersey. My quick, lighthearted response stopped him in his tracks as we traded barbs about offensive lines stacked with rookies and endless rotations of coaches.

After about five minutes we found ourselves sharing viewpoints, comparing our analyses and laughing about it all at the end. If only all disagreements could end this way.

Civil discourse is nothing new; we’re just finding ourselves challenged by the often-polarized, and increasingly bitter, conversations on any given topic, especially politics. And while the vast world of mass media can be of great benefit for the dissemination of information, advancing social issues and fostering cultural exchange, it also can hinder a society’s ability to enter into meaningful dialogue which requires listening as much as talking.

Small wonder that anonymous online screeds nearly always lead to anything but civil discourse. Let the debate rage over whether an online forum can promote discourse, or if by definition these pseudo-public squares are little more than echo chambers of aggressive rhetoric whose purpose is to be heard, or to generate monetized clicks.

One thing is certain, the growth of cyber conversations in the social media space is outpacing the number of opportunities for people to talk, debate, argue and, yes, even compromise.

When we talk to each other respectfully, and with an open mind, we begin to build trust and even understanding. In fact, my personal and professional life experience has taught me that respectfulness lives in this space. One cannot simply create an online account, post a manifesto and wait for the discourse magic to happen. The hard work lies in the development of sound ideas founded on data, and the inherent vulnerability of interpersonal communication.

One of the greatest lessons I learned during my journalism career is that being an active listener translates into being a conscious learner. This personal revelation came mid-career while listening to an interview I had just conducted and needed to log for a story.

I became oddly disappointed — in myself! I heard myself jumping on my interviewee’s last words of each response and barely giving them time to finish their thought. I could not have been truly listening, nor wanting to learn. That awakening taught me many lessons. Regardless of my own opinion, listening to someone else’s thoughts, experiences, ideas and knowledge served to not only report stories clearly and well informed, but also developed my own literacy. This is what civic discourse is all about: to stop and listen, whether we disagree or not.

For these reasons, I begin each semester with a short lecture on the topic of the First Amendment and civil discourse. As a class, we review the amendment, provide examples of civil talk and agree to always engage in that form.

Maybe I’m swimming against the current, but this is why I am a journalist and an educator. Don’t misunderstand me: the coming together of various minds and talking about issues without interruption will not in itself solve problems. But in this space, we do have a chance to be heard.

Nadine Arroyo Rodriguez is director of journalism and new media studies at Mesa Community College. She wrote this for Independent Newsmedia, Inc., USA. Please submit comments at yourvalley.net/letters or email them to AzOpinions@iniusa.org. We are committed to publishing a wide variety of reader opinions, as long as they meet our Civility Guidelines.