Presents are great, but presence is the best gift Arizonans can give teens this holiday season

Michelle Moorhead

Submitted photo/Teen Lifeline

If Your Child Needs Help

Teens, or pre-teens, struggling with loneliness, depression or thoughts of suicide can call Teen Lifeline 24/7/365 at (602) 248-TEEN (8336) or (800) 248-TEEN for free and confidential help. They can also text the hotline at (602) 248-8336 between the hours of noon and 9 p.m. on weekdays and 3 to 9 p.m. on weekends.

OPINION — This holiday season, presence rather than presents could make the biggest difference for the young people in our community.

Decades of research, including studies from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, show that feeling connected to others is one of the strongest protective factors against youth suicide. Connection also reduces risky behaviors, improves school performance and strengthens physical and emotional health.

The holidays create meaningful opportunities for young people to spend time with the people who matter to them, not only parents, but friends, extended family and other trusted adults. These supportive relationships help teens build a sense of hope, acceptance and belonging, which are essential for mental well-being.

Yet the pressure to create a “perfect” holiday can pull adults into checking off lengthy to-do lists instead of focusing on connection. It’s important for adults to model healthy behaviors and set boundaries on others’ expectations to reinforce the importance of presence. As the season gets busy, it helps to remember that the people around the tree, not the presents under it, will have the most lasting impact on children and teens.

Try the following three tips to foster increased connection with the children and teens in your life this holiday season and year-round:

Check in

Each December, Teen Lifeline volunteer peer counselors who work the crisis hotline report an increase in calls from teens worried about school issues and finals. Be sure to check in with the teenagers in your life regularly at this time of year. Ask how they feel about school. Talk to them about their interests, their worries and their friends.

Checking in is most effective when you ask open-ended questions that start a conversation rather than questions that require only one-word answers.

Be fully present

Being in the same room with someone isn’t enough. Show young people you care by putting down electronics or interrupting other tasks to focus on what they’re saying.

Tweens and teens, especially boys, are often more comfortable opening up when they don’t have to make direct eye contact. Going for a walk, driving in the car, wrapping presents or doing dishes together can be good opportunities for connection that are more comfortable for kids.

Encourage connection with others

Support the relationships that matter to the teens in your life by inviting their friends to join in holiday activities. Teens are more likely to want to spend time at home or with family when the friends they care about feel welcome too.

The holiday season, when extended families and close friends gather to celebrate, is also a great time to help teens strengthen relationships with safe, trusted adults they can turn to when they’re facing something they may not want to discuss with a parent.

Even with strong support, some teens will still experience anxiety or sadness during the holiday season. The gift of your presence can be more meaningful than anything that can be wrapped. Let the young people in your life know it’s always OK to talk about what troubles them or to ask for help. Knowing where to turn in a crisis can make all the difference.

Michelle Moorhead is executive director of Teen Lifeline, a Phoenix-based nonprofit dedicated to preventing teen suicide in Arizona. Please submit comments at yourvalley.net/letters or email them to AzOpinions@iniusa.org. We are committed to publishing a wide variety of reader opinions, as long as they meet our Civility Guidelines.