OPINION — Outside my formal role leading a nonprofit, I continue to work as a therapist — a passion project, honestly, and the mode I keep returning to and honing is attachment-based relationship counseling.
Nobody comes to couples therapy because things are going well. There is almost always something significant at stake, and deep-seated emotions tend to be running the show before anyone walks through the door.
In the therapist’s seat, you learn to scan for patterns. You also learn to notice shifts. One of the most telling shifts I watch for is when a couple who began sessions unable to hold each other’s gaze — guarded, defended, tracking threat — reaches toward each other.
