How Arizonans can help children foster healthy friendships

Morgan Hines, LMSW, MPA

Submitted photo

If a Child Needs Help

If you believe a child or teen is in immediate danger, call 911 or go to an emergency room.

For non-emergencies, kids and teens can call or text 602-248-TEEN (8336). Phone support is available 24/7; texting is available from noon to 9 p.m. weekdays and 3 to 9 p.m. weekends. For more information, visit teenlifeline.org.

There’s much more than new teachers and class schedules for tweens and teens at the start of a new school year. It can also mean navigating new or adjusting to shifting social circles.

At Teen Lifeline, we often see an uptick in calls and texts during the first few months of the school year. Loneliness, anxiety about friendships and feeling peer pressure are some of the common concerns teens share.

Making and maintaining friendships during adolescence are essential to a child’s development. Positive friendships help kids develop confidence, practice empathy, manage stress and form a stronger sense of self.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention research shows that strong social connections can protect against depression and even reduce the risk of suicide. On the other hand, when friendships are hurtful or kids feel excluded, it can take a toll on their mental and emotional well-being.

While parents play a key role in helping kids build healthy relationships, we all have a part to play.

Model positive connection

Whether you’re a parent, grandparent, family member, neighbor or coach, the way you talk about your own relationships teaches the next generation what friendship looks like. Speak openly about kindness, boundaries and how you resolve conflicts. Then, demonstrate the supportive behavior you talk about by handling disagreements calmly, expressing appreciation for others and offering to help when someone is struggling. When children witness these behaviors in adults, they’re more likely to emulate them.

Support emotional growth

Before kids can be good friends or support others who are struggling, they need to understand their own emotions. Adults can help by creating space to talk about feelings, especially when something goes wrong in a friendship. Instead of jumping in to fix the problem, help the tween or teen identify why they’re upset and then brainstorm possible solutions. Guiding kids to think through next steps and talking about how the other person might feel builds empathy, confidence and the skills to navigate future relationships.

Encourage inclusion

School campuses, sports teams, church groups and community centers can all be places where new friendships form, or where kids can feel left out. Take time to notice the youths who sit alone, opt out of activities or seem disconnected. A gentle invitation to join in, a compliment or simply saying hello can make a big difference.

Help kids know when to speak up

Friendship means being there for each other, even when it’s hard. That’s why it’s important for young people to understand the difference between when to keep a friend’s confidence and when to involve a trusted adult. No one wants to feel like a tattletale, but when a friend shares something concerning, like thoughts of suicide, self-harm, plans for violence or risky drug or alcohol use, staying silent can be dangerous.

Speaking up isn’t betrayal, it’s showing that you care. If a child or teen confides in you about thoughts of self-harm or a peer in crisis, take them seriously. Listen without judgment, offer your support and help them connect to professional resources.

If a tween or teen you know is feeling overwhelmed, struggling socially or dealing with anxiety or depression, they don’t have to go through it alone. Organizations like Teen Lifeline are here to help.

Editor’s note: Morgan Hines, LMSW, MPA is the clinical programs coordinator at Teen Lifeline, a Phoenix-based nonprofit dedicated to preventing teen suicide in Arizona.