Hair-raising truths: The hidden hope in homes that reflect us

Mia Stewart

Submitted photo

These homes provide more than shelter. When culture is prioritized in a child’s placement, the child’s full self is accepted and celebrated. By honoring their culture, AZDCS does more than protect the child, they empower them.”

As a third-generation kinship, foster and adoptive parent, I carry a legacy I never chose, but one that I’m deeply proud of. I didn’t just inherit family recipes and stories, I inherited the responsibility to love children who needed more than shelter. They needed someone who understood them.

Growing up, I watched my mother and grandmother open their hearts and homes to children most people turned away. I remember the look on a teen girl’s face when she realized she could stay with her baby.

Other families had said no, too much work, too complicated. But my mother said yes. Watching that young mother bloom taught me something powerful: the right environment doesn’t just support healing, it makes it possible.

Years later, as a foster parent to my nephews, it wasn’t just about giving them a place to sleep, it was about giving them a mirror to see themselves through faith, culture and care. The Arizona Department of Child Safety was instrumental in reuniting us and providing the resources to begin our lives together as a family.

AZDCS continues to prioritize kinship care and increasing African American foster family recruitment to match the needs in our community. Their efforts ensure more children are placed in environments where culture is honored and maintained.

Why representation isn’t just ‘nice to have’

Foster care often focuses on food, shelter and safety, but what about the need to belong? For African American children, being surrounded by caregivers who understand the importance of textured hair, rich skin tones and deep-rooted traditions can be transformative. When cultural mirroring is present, children don’t need to explain why their hair needs a silk bonnet or why Sunday dinner smells like history. These are homes where children feel normal, not different, where daily rituals of care become lessons in self-worth.

Arizona needs a diverse foster parent base so that more kids can stay with culturally consistent homes when they’re in care. It’s important for them to stay closely tied to their culture before they return to their biological families or as they begin life with a new one.

Faith gave us more than words

In our home, faith wasn’t just spoken, it was lived. My nephews saw a praying auntie who also paid bills, kept a routine and handled conflict without chaos. They experienced grace during tough conversations and witnessed forgiveness practiced, not just preached.

Access to pastors, church mentors and faith-based athletic coaching programs gave them space to wrestle with their questions. There’s no shame in not understanding why their lives took certain turns or why their parents couldn’t provide for them.

Through AZDCS’s support, many kinship and foster families can create these nurturing environments. Resources like beds, school uniforms, counseling referrals and connections to community partnerships make it possible to offer not just care, but quality care. These investments help families meet children's immediate needs while creating long-term stability.

The power of stability in a sober home

Before coming to live with me, my nephews had never experienced a stable adult who showed up every day, sober, calm and consistent. While under my care, they appreciated waking up in their own beds, wearing clean clothes and eating breakfast. That alone changed their outlook.

It wasn’t that I was perfect, but I was consistently present. For many children in the system, especially those who’ve witnessed addiction or abuse, that presence can be life-altering. They begin to dream again, not just of surviving, but of thriving. They start to believe in the future, because they can finally see one.

It takes a village

One thing I’ve always loved about our ethnic community is how we support each other. Extended family, neighbors, coaches and church friends all pitch in. That’s what makes culturally grounded foster care so powerful. It’s not just about one home, it’s about a network of support that shares the same values, history and hope.

Children placed in these villages aren’t just another placement; they’re someone’s baby, promise and purpose. That kind of love rewrites the story of trauma. Attending cultural events like church services, the MLK march and Juneteenth celebrations become a natural part of life. These experiences help children feel seen in their fullness allowing them to witness pride, resilience and joy in their heritage. These shared moments reinforce that they belong, and their story matters. 

Why I keep saying ‘yes’

I keep saying “yes” to fostering children because I’ve seen what is possible. With ongoing support from AZDCS and a growing network of families who say “yes,” more children can be placed in homes where their culture, identity and spirit are embraced and mirrored.

These homes provide more than shelter. When culture is prioritized in a child’s placement, the child’s full self is accepted and celebrated. By honoring their culture, AZDCS does more than protect the child, they empower them.

Editor’s note: Mia Stewart is the administrative assistant at Pilgrim Rest Foundation Inc., a Phoenix-based nonprofit founded in 1993 to uplift individuals and families through outreach, programs and services. Please send your comments to AzOpinions@iniusa.org. We are committed to publishing a wide variety of reader opinions, as long as they meet our Civility Guidelines.