My brother’s suicide led me to my LIFE calling

Mara Windsor, DO, FACEP

Submitted photo

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If you or someone you know is struggling, help is available. Call or text the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 to connect with someone 24/7. If you’re a health care worker or student interested in our programs, email life.livingenlightenment@gmail.com.

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Mental Health

Phoenix has doubled number of emergency calls taken by mental health units

I never imagined that my life’s mission would be shaped by the most painful moment of my childhood, the day my brother Maurice died by suicide. He was just 17, an All-American athlete, a star pitcher and quarterback, and a beloved son and brother.

No one saw it coming. He had no mental health diagnosis. But looking back, the signs were there: slipping grades, skipping class, withdrawing from friends and family, and breaking up with his girlfriend. We didn’t recognize the signs. And that’s why I do this work, because it was me, it was my family and now it’s my calling.

I was planning to pursue a PhD in psychology, but after Maurice’s death, I switched to medical school and became an emergency physician. My first trauma case was a suicide, same method, same heartbreak. Telling that mother her child was gone was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Over time, I realized I couldn’t save my brother, but I could help others. I shifted my focus to prevention, to education and to healing.

Ten years ago, I founded LIFE — Living in Fulfilled Enlightenment — a nonprofit dedicated to supporting medical professionals and students who are burned out, overwhelmed and silently struggling. As a mother, wife and female physician, I was drowning in my own burnout. I saw the same pain in my female patients across industries. LIFE was born to provide philanthropy, community and mentorship, the three pillars inspired by Dr. Martin Seligman’s work in positive psychology.

Burnout in health care is rampant. We lose a doctor to suicide every single day in the U.S. That’s an entire medical school class each year! Female physicians are more likely to die by suicide than any other population in our country. The stressors are immense: addiction, mental health challenges, loss of a child and the crushing weight of being sued, even when innocent. The emotional toll of daily death and trauma leads to post-traumatic stress, and many suffer in silence.

That’s why LIFE exists. Our mission is to provide resiliency tools and positive coping mechanisms to reduce burnout and suicide rates among physicians, nurses, and pre-medical students. We’re proud to partner with SOS — Stop Our Stigma — to educate families of health care workers and first responders on how to recognize warning signs of mental health struggles.

Warning signs someone is a risk

Warning signs can be subtle but devastating. A health care worker may withdraw socially, struggle to concentrate or become emotionally detached. Nurses may cry in private or neglect patient needs. Colleagues might show up late, disheveled or inattentive. These are cries for help. We must learn to listen.

Other signs include oversleeping, insomnia, isolation, substance use or sudden changes in behavior and friendships. If you notice these, don’t lecture, connect. Share a meal, offer a 30-second hug with your loved one, write a note or text. I bought a journal and exchanged notes with my kids who couldn’t speak their pain aloud. It became a safe space for healing.

We implement therapies like EMDR — Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing —and Inner Balance by HeartMath, which uses heart rate variability biofeedback to regulate emotions and prevent stress. Our goal is to offer these services free of charge to local pre-medical and pre-nursing students.

I live in Paradise Valley with my husband, three children and three dogs. Every day, I carry my brother’s memory with me. His organs saved eight lives. Now, through LIFE, his story is saving even more.

Together, we can stop the silence. Together, we can save lives.

Editor’s note: Mara Windsor, DO, FACEP of Paradise Valley is an emergency medicine physician and owner of Doctor Housecalls of the Valley. She is also founder and board chairman of LIFE (Living In Fulfilled Enlightenment), a Scottsdale-based nonprofit. Please submit comments at yourvalley.net/letters or email them to AzOpinions@iniusa.org. We are committed to publishing a wide variety of reader opinions, as long as they meet our Civility Guidelines.