O'Malley: Forming multiple friendships is beneficial

What is harsh? Are you emotional? Angered? Hurt? Embarrassed?

Then the chances are you will be harsh, attacking, rude, even hostile when responding or reacting.

When we react it is more often than not about us not the other person. They hit a trigger point of hurt. It’s like having a chip on your shoulder and they knowingly or unknowingly knocked the chip off.

Some are controllers, some may be good friends but freaked out temporarily. We all freak out sometimes, but if it is a pattern in your friend’s life, then it may be time to move on from that friendship. It is OK to move on. A friendship doesn’t have to last forever. We change location, jobs, churches, and when we do, we gain new friends and lose other friends.

Why do we think friendships have to last forever? It is great when that happens, yet very rare in today’s mobile society. If you’ve done something wrong, apologize and make it right, if possible. If they don’t accept the apology or keep blaming you, yelling at you, then it’s time to move on.

No, friendships don’t grow on trees and healthy relationships are even harder to find. Sometimes it’s better to be alone than to be put down, run down and blamed. That is bad for your mental health and self-esteem so why tolerate it in the name of friendship?

It is always good to meet new people and make new friends. You don’t want to be so dependent upon one person that if something happens you are devastated, feeling lost. Also, you don’t want to overuse one person with your problems or needing help. It is better to have others who can help out when needed or be a shoulder to cry on.

To make new friends, join clubs that interest you, then you may find people with common interest. That is always a good place to start. You don’t have to go to places you don’t want to, say a bar. There are plenty of places to go out to eat, get together like meet up groups, singles group, maybe a dance group, chorus, hand bell choir, photography, biking or hiking groups.

Think outside the box. Make a list of your interest, hobbies, things you want to try or do someday. Someday is here. Go for it!

Editor’s Note: Nora O’Malley, a Sun City resident, is a writer, coach and encourager. Visit her blog at noraomalley.com.