Suicide survivor from Surprise shares her story

Chloe Lobmeyer now thriving in life, on court

By Richard Smith
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Twitter: @rsmithYWV

Willow Canyon senior center Chloe Lobmeyer earned the 5A Central Region player of the year awards this basketball season, averaging seven points, nearly 13 rebounds and slightly above three blocks a game.

She will continue her career in college, with plans to sign April 29 to play for Yavapai College in Prescott next year.

This turn of events is surprising for reasons beyond her on-court improvement, her senior year being her first full season of high school play or even her admission that until recently she played the sport mostly because she was agile and 6-2.

Chloe Lobmeyer did not think much about college options, a basketball career or even her senior year of high school because she said she did not expect to live to see any of it. She attempted suicide three times — once in each of her first three years of high school — before receiving a bipolar disorder diagnosis on top of her depression and working to determine a therapy and medication that worked.

“It took a while after the third attempt because I thought, ‘I’m a failure at everything. I couldn’t even complete this process.’ The more I focused on working on myself and looking into my life and redirecting the thoughts I was having, it got a lot easier to see there was a difference that’s going to happen, even though I can’t expect it right away. That was near the end of basketball season my junior year probably. I started thinking about what more I could do with my life to not lead me in the direction I’ve been going my entire life,” she said.

Then came the hardest part — waiting for a tangible change from new medication and different forms of counseling.

“I had previously been diagnosed with major depression. My junior year I was rediagnosed as bipolar and major depression as well. That’s when the transition on my meds happened. It was really difficult because it takes six to eight weeks to start noticing a difference. When I noticed a difference from the meds, I had to decide if this was a good difference or something I need to change,” Lobmeyer said. “The biggest struggle with knowing I was bipolar was not knowing anyone in my family that had it. My dad struggles with depression, so I had someone I’m close to I could talk with. With the bipolar diagnosis it was like starting over.”

Bipolar disorder and depression present a sustained battle and require a lifelong commitment to a regimen of therapy and medication.

For her family, friends and coaches, the most important thing is the noticeable and consistent progress throughout her senior year. Willow Canyon girls basketball coach Brandon Scholtz said he noticed gradual improvements last spring and summer, but only knew she had turned a corner at basketball tryouts in fall 2021.

“You could see when there were good days and bad days coming,” Scholtz said. “I know my girls. When it is somebody you love and care about, you can just look at their face. I could look in her eyes and see that either Chloe is there or Chloe is not there. We could see that during the battles she had her sophomore year with COVID and with her foot. And even in her junior year when she was battling through transitioning to what is bipolar and what is the difference between what are manic episodes and what are depressive episodes. It was scary and intense, but out of it I think she found a good safe place. I can tell you it made me 100 times better as a teacher, coach and person. Being able to be that person for somebody that needed it gave me a totally different understanding than I’ve ever had.”

The experience resonates with the coach more since he had little knowledge on this subject or of his player’s turmoil until her first suicide attempt.

DEPRESSION AND DESPERATION

Lobmeyer said her eighth-grade year was when she first struggled with anxiety and depression.

Late in her freshman year, March 2019, was her first suicide attempt. After that she was hospitalized for a week.

“I didn’t talk to a lot of people. I couldn’t find my social group or niche. I didn’t feel like talking about it to anyone,” Lobmeyer said.

She said she planned out her first attempt. Her grades suffered.

Lobmeyer remembers writing, “I don’t want to do this,” and nothing else on a test.

“When it first happened my freshman year, I was so ready to be done with everything. I didn’t think I was good at anything or had people that enjoyed my company. I couldn’t express that to anyone so no one knew that was going on,” Lobmeyer said. “Later on, my sophomore and junior year, I thought I had tried everything, counseling, therapy, meds, the hospital. I felt like nothing ever got better. I would switch my meds and switch therapists. It never changed.”

Her coach had no warning.

“Her freshman year I got the call from her mom when the first attempt happened. I didn’t know anything about it ahead of time. To say it was shocking was an understatement,” Scholtz said. “It is one of the hardest things I have ever done as a coach — to try to handle that situation with her family, herself and her teammates and give it the sensitivity and importance it deserved. I love to win and I’m competitive, but basketball meant absolutely nothing when it came to a topic like that.”

Lobmeyer was able to rejoin the Wildcats for summer ball in the months before her sophomore season. Her sister served as team manager.

The sophomore year was the toughest, even before Lobmeyer and most of America learned to dread COVID-19.
Early in that school year, September 2019, came her second attempt.

Then Lobmeyer broke her foot and missed all but two games as a her sophomore, which only added to the difficulties piling up in her life. Then the first wave of COVID-19 arrived in mid-March.

“Sophomore year I broke my foot so I was out for the season. Then COVID hit and it was like, this is the worst possible thing that could happen,” Lobmeyer said.

Well, maybe not.

This photo of Chloe Lobmeyer was sent out by the Surprise Police Department on Dec. 15, 2020 when she ran away from home.

EMERGING ON THE OTHER SIDE

Suicide became a increasingly discussed topic during the firs six months of the novel coronavirus, particularly in regard to children in elementary and high school.

Studies released by the Arizona Department of Health Services in September 2020 showed suicide is the leading cause of death in Arizona of children age 10 through 14. Then-ADHS Director Cara Christ said that same survey revealed nearly 21% of high schoolers indicated they had contemplated suicide.

Chloe Lobmeyer nearly became a heartbreaking statistic in December 2020, her third suicide attempt.

“It was during that winter break. We didn’t have her all winter break. That was when that happened and she went to the hospital,” Scholtz said.

Before she went to the hospital, though, she ran away from home, and the Surprise Police Department asked the community for help finding her on Dec. 15, 2020.

She said running away, like her second and third suicide attempts, was spontaneous. After discovering she was bipolar, Lobmeyer realized she was not going through a depressive episode, but going through a manic episode instead.

“I had tried talking to my parents about what was going on and the things I was thinking about and I didn’t feel like they had been much help. I couldn’t see any progress,” Lobmeyer said. “I really enjoyed walking at the time, so I just started walking. That day my parents had told me they were going to admit me to the hospital and I wasn’t entirely ready for that. I knew it was something that was going to happen because of everything that had happened earlier that week. But I just couldn’t wrap my head around going back to the hospital.”

Her parents had a lot of conversations with Scholtz when she was admitted to the hospital a second time during those holidays.

With COVID-19 cases spiking in Arizona, the basketball season had not started the week of Thanksgiving, as is customary. The 2021 season would even be canceled for a few days in early January.

“After she was gone during Christmas break, I had a sit-down with the team and kind of explained about what was going on, where Chloe is and what she’s going to need when she gets back. That’s probably the second-hardest conversation I’ve ever had with a group of high school athletes,” Scholtz said, “When she came back that first week of January, you’re inundated with games. I got the feeling that those first couple of weeks back was overwhelming because she came from that isolated environment to being busy every day. It was almost sensory overload.”

Chloe has one older sister and three younger siblings. She said they are supportive but it can be difficult for them to relate.

When she returned in 2021, it was equally tough to connect with teammates. In that truncated season, however, she drew closer with fellow junior Makayla Ramirez.

“It was a little more difficult because there was always the questions about the scars on my arms or where I was at those times. It gets difficult to explain to people that only know you as a basketball player or student,” Lobmeyer said. “One person that did really help bridge that was my friend Makayla. We got really close after my third attempt because I was working with her. She let me open up to her. It was really relieving to know that someone actually wanted to listen to that. It allowed me to open up more to other girls on the team that asked because at least one of my teammates would support me through everything.”

Around this time she got her first job, working at the store Scholtz’s wife owns.

She said her parents only worked harder and sought more help for her with each suicide attempt and hospital visit and in particular after she ran away.

“With my parents, it took us a while to get to this point, but it was a lot easier to talk to them after the third attempt. They knew I was going to struggle, probably for my entire life. They are there for me as much as they can be. I have to do some of the work as well. They were super supportive — made sure I was taking my meds and going to therapy, they even set up something to talk with my guidance counselor and with a social worker,” Lobmeyer said.

Willow Canyon senior Chloe Lobmeyer tries to rip away the ball from sophomore forward Aalyah Ramirez (No. 34) before a jump ball is called during the Surprise schools’ Dec. 13, 2021 game at Willow Canyon. [Courtesy Dysart Unified School District]

SHARING A STORY OF HOPE

Lobmeyer said she started journaling and getting her thoughts out in that form. She found it to be cathartic.

“I came up with kind of a code with my parents. I told them I would say this word or do something and that would be a way to tell them it was a bad day for me. They took that really well and it got us through a lot of bad days. It made me more open to them helping me through this,” Lobmeyer said.

When she returned to the court, Lobmeyer formed a dynamic duo with Ramirez.

Her friend directed the offense, leading the Wildcats in scoring assists. The defense flowed from Lobmeyer’s interior presence as a shot blocker and dominant defensive rebounder.

Halfway through this season — with clarity in other aspects of her life — she realized she wanted to keep playing in college. Scholtz said she did not tell him until the final two weeks of the season.

“Prior to that the thought was we needed to keep her around basketball because she needs this, mentally. She needs us beyond basketball,” he said.

And prior to the final month of the season, Scholtz said his primary goal was to see her walk in at school and to practice every day.

Suddenly, Lobmeyer did not see basketball as an obligation.
“I knew I was tall, could run fast and get all the boards, but I had that mentality of, ‘Do I really want to do this?’ If it’s not something I’m going to purse 100%, then I need to take a step back completely. When I gave 100%, I knew I could see myself doing this in the future. Working on something and seeing progress is really helpful for me. I started to enjoy it this year. Previously it was something I dreaded, I hated going to play basketball,” Lobmeyer said.

As well as she played for a 16-7 team that nearly knocked off top-seed Tucson Flowing Wells in the first round of the 5A playoffs, she said being named region player of year was surprise.

Willow Canyon was undefeated in Central Region play and only Phoenix North Canyon proved any competition.

Scholtz said he knew the honor was a flip of the coin between Lobmeyer and Ramirez.

“I knew it was going to be one of those two and I really left the choice up to the other coaches,” Scholtz said. “It was unanimous that it should be Chloe. Hearing that was one of the best moments I’ve had as a coach, just knowing the back story.”

Now it was time for a whirlwind recruiting process. Yavapai boasts the most traditional college environment than Arizona’s larger community colleges with dorms and a campus.

New coach Gerrard Carmichael wanted Lobmeyer to join a program that will restart this year after not playing since 2011. Carmichael led Phoenix Shadow Mountain to a state title in 2009 and lifted the Phoenix Horizon program to three straight quarterfinal berths as one of the smaller schools in Arizona’s big school division.

“I talked to Coach Carmichael about it. We talked for three days and went up to visit the campus. He offered me a full ride and I accepted on the spot. I never thought that was a possibility,” Lobmeyer said.

Scholtz said this environment and this coach struck him as ideal for working with Lobmeyer at this stage in her journey.

“There were three local colleges that asked about her. The only one I had serious talks with was Yavapai. He had a good understanding of her background. I felt comfortable because he had an environment that I felt would help her and work with her,” Scholtz said. “I felt like this needed a different touch and felt like their coach would be the right guy for it.”

Lobmeyer said she is leaning toward studying graphic design.

Before that though, she said, she wanted to shine a light for those who saw no way out of the tunnel — as she did for most of her teenage years.

“I understood that this a bigger topic than just me. So many are struggling with this or will, but don’t know how to get therapy or meds. If I’m able to get though it and tell my story, it could help other people. There is a way out and a way to overcome everything you’re going through. It just takes time,” Lobmeyer said. “There’s been a couple of people that have come up to me and said they struggled with it too. It sounds so cliche but open your eyes to the people around you. You never know what somebody has gone of is going through unless you ask.”

Richard Smith
Associate Editor | Surprise & West Valley Preps
@rsmithYWV

rsmith@iniusa.org

Richard Smith has been with Independent Newsmedia since 2016, and worked at a Sun City-based news outfit covering the Northwest Valley for 22 consecutive years.

An NAU alum and lifelong Arizona resident, Richard began as a copy editor and page designer at Surprise Today and the Daily News-Sun, then rekindled his love of sports writing by taking the reins on West Valley Preps in 2008.

For most of the mid-2010s he was the Surprise editor and West Valley Preps reporter. Now he’s the West Valley Preps Editor and Surprise Associate Editor.

As COVID restrictions slowly lift, Richard is cautiously optimistic he will visit book stores, football fields and gyms again this fall.