How Arizonans can help their teens recognize, leave toxic relationships

Sarah Grado

Submitted photo

If you need help

If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visit thehotline.org.

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, a crucial time for parents to talk with their teens about healthy relationships and warning signs of toxicity.

Relationships should feel safe, supportive and empowering — but for too many teens, they become a source of stress, anxiety or even harm. 1 in 3 teens in the U.S. experiences some form of abuse in a dating relationship, whether it’s emotional, physical or digital.

With social media, texting and online connections playing such a big role in teen relationships, toxic behaviors can be harder to spot — but their impact is real. As parents, learning the signs of an unhealthy relationship can help you guide and support your teen.

Signs your teen may be in a toxic relationship

• Constant criticism and insults: If their partner makes them feel bad about themselves, puts them down or embarrasses them in front of others, that’s emotional abuse.
• Extreme jealousy and possessiveness: If your teen feels guilty for hanging out with friends or is constantly accused of cheating, their relationship may be unhealthy.
• Isolation from friends and family: If their partner pressures them to spend all their time together and makes them feel guilty for talking to others, it’s a major red flag.
• Controlling behaviors: A partner should never tell them what to wear, who to talk to or what to post on social media. If they constantly check your teen’s phone, demand passwords or make them feel like they have no choices, it’s not love — it’s control.
• Threats and manipulation: Saying things like, “If you leave me, I’ll hurt myself” or using guilt to control your teen is not OK. No one should ever make someone else feel responsible for their actions.
• Physical harm or destruction of property: Even if their partner says it was “just a joke” or “not that serious,” any form of hitting, pushing or breaking things in anger is abusive behavior.

How parents can help

• Keep open communication: Encourage your teen to talk about their relationships and feelings without fear of judgment. Let them know you are a safe space. 
• Teach healthy relationship skills: Talk about respect, boundaries and how a healthy relationship should feel. Model positive relationships in your own life. 
• Watch for changes in behavior: If your teen becomes withdrawn, anxious or their grades drop suddenly, it may be a sign something is wrong.
• Know where to get help: If you suspect your teen is in an unhealthy relationship, don’t hesitate to reach out for support. notMYkid offers resources, guidance and a safe space to talk about relationships, including a free weekly virtual Parent Support Group that helps parents cultivate practical strategies for supporting their teens. For more information and to register, visit https://bit.ly/3BMFTRp.

Editor’s note: Sarah Grado is Chief Programs Officer at notMYkid, a Scottsdale-based nonprofit serving youth and their families. Please send your comments to AzOpinions@iniusa.org. We are committed to publishing a wide variety of reader opinions, as long as they meet our Civility Guidelines.