Paula Pedene, ARS
Submitted photo
By Paula Pedene | Scottsdale
Each Memorial Day, we pause to remember those who gave their lives in service to our country. Often, our thoughts focus on those who died on distant battlefields, and rightly so. However, I’ve come to understand that not all sacrifices are made in the moment of combat — some unfold quietly, long after the uniform is folded away.
I served in the U.S. Navy during the Cold War, in peacetime and later during Operations Desert Shield and Desert Storm. I did not witness my fellow service members dying in battle. However, when I came home, I saw many of them carrying invisible wounds — moral injuries that weighed heavily on their souls.
Some suffered from the guilt of surviving when others did not, while others were haunted by the things they saw or were asked to do. Some bore the crushing burden of feeling like they could never truly come home.
The toll of military service doesn’t always make headlines. I’ve known fellow veterans who died by suicide, overwhelmed by pain they couldn’t speak aloud. I’ve seen others fall to cancers linked to Agent Orange or to the toxins from burn pits. Some faced tragic ends in officer-involved shootings after struggling to reintegrate into civilian life. Though these losses didn’t happen on the battlefield, they were casualties of service all the same.
President Abraham Lincoln said in his second inaugural address, “To care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow, and his orphan.” These words remind us of our collective duty — not only to remember the fallen but also to care for those bearing the scars of war, both visible and invisible.
Memorial Day provides us with a sacred space to reflect on the true cost of freedom. It is not measured solely by those who died in combat, but by all who have carried the burden of service — those who gave their lives and those who lost a part of themselves along the way.
So, as we gather with our families, place flags on graves or attend ceremonies, let us do so with full hearts. Let us remember not just how they died, but also how they lived, served and struggled. Let us recommit to honoring their memory.
Freedom has a price; for some, that cost is paid long after the battle. I hope you will join me in taking some time this upcoming Memorial Day to reflect on the sacrifices our veterans make to preserve our freedom.
Editor’s note: U.S. Navy veteran Paula Pedene of Scottsdale is executive director and founder of Honoring America’s Veterans, and the author of “A Sacred Duty: How a Whistleblower Took on the VA and Won.” Please send your comments to AzOpinions@iniusa.org. We are committed to publishing a wide variety of reader opinions, as long as they meet our Civility Guidelines.
